I’ve been sitting in front of my computer for a while not writing. I’m here at my new writing spot with my writing pal but I’ve been not writing. All week I’ve been trying to think of what I would write and I came up with a few tidbits of ideas here and there, but nothing that felt really quite right or just what I wanted. So I sat down and I read some other blog posts and I looked out the window and I drank some expensive, bubbly water and I checked my phone, I watched a rainstorm pass through, I chatted with my writing pal, and I was just not writing. I kept thinking that I can’t not write. Because I was not writing for seven months and I didn’t like that and I said I wasn’t going to not write any more. So I decided to write about not writing.
Once I decided to write about not writing…we chatted some more. And then, as I was looking out the window, it occurred to me to just write something. It doesn’t have to be earth shattering (not that I think I’ve ever really written an earth shattering post here, nor am I trying to). It doesn’t have to be a wonderful post. It doesn’t have to be the most read post of my blogging career/hobby (It’s just a hobby). It doesn’t even have to be good. It just has to be writing. Sometimes you just have to go through the motions. Or not. I don’t HAVE to write, but I want to write, I like writing. I reminded myself that not everything we like or want to do comes really easily all of the time. Nor does it turn out really well all of the time. But a surefire way to fail and/or to not get better and/or to get or stay in a slump, is to not even try.
I tried to think of some examples from other realms of life or jobs or hobbies to sort of explain how I was feeling and how the writing just wasn’t quite happening the way I wanted, but it wasn’t quite happening the way I wanted. I guess in all areas that happens though, things don’t go quite the way we want them to. (It doesn’t help when I’m mid struggle to write and my writing pal just claps her hands and says, “Ha!” As in, “I’m done!”)
That’s just how it goes sometimes though. It’s hard and it doesn’t go the way you want at the very same exact moment that other people seem to be sailing along and winning trophies. It’s not going to be perfect or easy or the best or good or the way you thought all of the time. But if you* want to do it, you just do it, you keep on doing it. You do your thing, whatever your thing happens to be. If you want to be a runner, you run. If you want to be a yogi, you go to yoga. If you want to be a writer, you write.
So there it is. I’m not not writing. I wrote. (Claps hands and shouts “HA!”)
*When I say you, I really mean me. I mostly write to remind myself.